Kara Kum – Chapter 3

Chapter Three

She had been trapped in this wasteland for years. When she was young the wasteland was sort of fun. It wasn’t as if she was completely without entertainment, there were shapes and forms, and colors to play with. There were plenty of vegetables to eat and a fountain with plenty of water. There were always clean clothes, they were a drab gray-green. These things would always just appear in the same spot. She never knew where they came from.  There was a small window that she could look out, but no one seemed to be able to look in. The window looked out into a train station.  She could at least see what was happening amongst ‘the normals’. Every evening when she dreamed her dreams were of a life amongst the normals. Throughout her childhood she could hear a voice in the afternoon, the voice was pleasant and would read classic stories to her. Pictures that illustrated the stories would appear on the window. From these stories she learned to understand speech. She also learned a great deal about the culture of the normals.  She would occasionally try to communicate with this voice, but the voice never understood what she was saying, and would not respond to her questions.

When she was young this suited her just fine. She never strayed very far from the window because this is where the food and all of her things were. She was to afraid to move away from this area into the desert which surrounded her, fearing that she would become lost.

After many years in the wasteland she realized she required more. However, she was trapped there. When her discontentment first started she was angry and reactionary.  She tore up the shapes and forms, and painted everything red. But after a while all this negative energy got tiring. She sat for years, depressed, wasting away in the wasteland. She stopped looking out her window, it had became hard to see what she couldn’t have. She wanted to communicate with the normals but they couldn’t see her.

The days had run together into one long agony. Her behavior became erratic and odd. She had taken to pacing in a large oval. Her feet pushed through the sand, making a deeper and deeper path, forming a more distinct shape. She looked down at her feet pushing their way through. She would chant “Never mind nothing ness” she had no reason for this other then breaking the boredom. She enjoyed hearing the patterns that the sounds created.

One afternoon, as she passed by the window, something made her stop and look out. The normals were on there way home from work. They bustled by in a hurry, grumbling as they went. She had seen this before, she had spent quiet a bit of time in front of this window and knew from start to finish what she would see. She quickly became bored. But she felt compelled to stay. She watched as people moved in and out. She saw a young man standing in the corner. It seemed as if he was watching her. This made her feel very self conscious. When she looked back the young man was gone.

The next day the young man appeared again and this time he smiled at her, she smiled back. This went on everyday and days turned into weeks. Each day he would appear at the same time smile, then disappear into a crowd. She began looking out her window all the time waiting for his arrival.

One day he appeared early. He carried a large pad with him. When she looked down at him, he held up a large drawing of a woman. Somehow, she knew it was a drawing of her. She realized she had no idea how to respond to this, she was overcome. Overwhelmed. She started laughing, then she saw the young man was laughing too. This was too much for her, she felt herself spinning. She, for a short moment, saw through the eyes of the young man. Then she passed out.

When she woke up, the day outside her window had ended. It was late in the evening. Confused about the days events and unable to figure out what exactly had happened, she got up and began to pace in her oval. Her chanting was disrupted by pictures of the man floating around in her head. She paced around in her oval again and again. Walking, pushing the sand, watching the sand cascade away from her feet. She fell into a meditative trance. Thinking only of the man and way the sand felt. Before she realized it she had walked out of her oval and was headed for the vast unknown.